Today I filled in the last grade of my school memories book. I feel so old. But as I flipped through its pages I was reminded of the things about me that changed, and the things that stayed exactly the same. It was like taking a mini journey through some of the most important times of my life thus far. Each year has some good memories, and each year has some not so good memories. Let's take a look at where the journey begins.
Kindergarten: In a nutshell I was a nerd. Big round glasses and short statured, wearing a pair of super classy overalls. haha. I lived a pretty care-free life. I watched Arthur, Cut and Paste, and ate pizza pops (all of which I still occasionally do) We went on a field trip to the Besborough Hotel. Ironically, part of my graduation takes place in the exact same hotel.
Grade 1: I guess I was your average first grader. I still had the glasses, and was missing a front tooth. I had lots of friends and still loved Pizza Pops. What struck me the most when looking back on this page was how I viewed myself. I loved myself. I had no feelings of self-hatred and I had never struggled with the infamous body image that every teenage girl does. I was so innocent. I was learning, and I suppose you could say, preparing myself for the rest of my life.
Grade 4: This is the year when I begin to see my true character developing. I loved reading, writing and my precious piano. I excelled in english and loved laughing. I noted that my best friends in this grade are the same best friends that I have in the 12th grade, although we were hardly friends for the 8 years in between.
Grade 5: This year is this year when I began to conform to the world. I think that it's something every child does at some point, but I find that it seems hardly worth it. If only I had spent those precious middle school years concentrating on becoming who I want to be, and not who everyone else wanted me to be.
Grade 6: This was my gymnastics year. I can remember having so much self-confidence in myself. I never more beautiful than when I was spinning, flipping or balancing. It was my passion and it made me happy. I didn't care if I didn't achieve perfection, I simply desired to make myself happy.
Grade 7: The year where everything changed. This was the year when I had to start fresh. Not because I changed schools or moved, but because I realized that my childhood was slipping away from me, faster than I wanted it to. Part of me wanted to grow up, to date, to graduate, to work. But I still wanted to run home to my mom and give her a big hug. Finding true friends was overwhelming and painful. But looking back I realize that despite how painful this year was, it developed so much character and emotions that have carried me through much harder times.
Grade 8: This is the year when I had a best friend again. After a difficult year I loved having someone to have sleepovers with, to talk to and to laugh with. I found joy in the smallest of things. I was so happy. With this joy came boldness. I began to shed my shell and open up to people. It was a good year.
Grade 9: This year can be grouped with the 7th grade as my best friend moved half way across the world I had never had to say good-bye to anyone before she left and it was so hard for me. I remember the last time I saw her and hugged her. I said good-bye and was forced to go back to school without a best friend. She's moving back here in a month. I wonder if our friendship will pick up where it left off, or if we've both changed too much to rekindle a relationship on the same level it used to be at.
Grade 12: Here I am. This is me. I've developed a feisty character, but I'm still quiet. I'm still shorter than most people in my class and I still eat pizza pops. I've got best friends, favourite teachers and very special people in my life. My life goals continue to change because I"m still indecisive. I've loved. I've laughed. I've lived. I've learned. And as I'm on the verge of jumping from the safety of my childhood nest look back at all that school has taught me. It has been so much more than adding and dividing or reading and writing. It's the other bits and pieces that have moulded me and shaped me into a character that will carry me beyond my childhood and into the rest of my life.
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